


i try to hold myself together (i keep falling apart)

by bloomings



Category: MAS (Korea Band), RBW Boyz (Band), The Unit: Idol Rebooting Project (TV), U-KISS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 23:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13511739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomings/pseuds/bloomings
Summary: “I’m Dongmyeong, by the way,” he says, crumbling the paper in between his hands.“I know,” Junyoung says, his faint blush darkening when he hears himself, “I mean, I heard it...when your friends called you...and at the coffee shop…”He goes quiet, feeling even more stupid with ever word coming out of his mouth.Dongmyeong looks at him, small smile bordering on amused, teasing, “aren’t you going to tell me your name?”Of course he manages to even mess this up.“It’s Junyoung,” he squeezes out, “you can call me Jun.”





	i try to hold myself together (i keep falling apart)

**Author's Note:**

> well here i am again, providing fic no one asked for 
> 
> title from motion city soundtracks [where i belong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pISPVfRQiOo)

It’s not like he’s totally falling all over himself whenever he sees him.  

In fact, Junyoung likes to think he’s doing pretty ok with it.  

Well mostly.  Junyoung knows what kind of image he has on campus.  His friends make fun of him about it all the time.  

_ Lee Junyoung.  The tall sunbaenim.  Look at how broad his shoulders are.  Is there something he can’t do? _

All delivered to him in fake awed tones, voices too shrill to ever be considered anything but teasing.

He never really believes all these things about himself.  He’s self aware enough that he knows that yeah, he’s a pretty nice kid.   He can probably be considered pretty nice to look at too.  But he’s always thought that all these girls trailing his every move was a bit unwarranted.  

And then he sees him one day, walking out of the library.  

Junyoung stops walking, eyes locking on the other boy, his wide smile as his friend bumps his shoulder, laughing at some unheard joke.

It must be the way the spring sun shines down at him, eyes shining, skin glowing.  It stunts him for a second, before he remembers he has a class to get to, he tries to walk but his eyes are still on the other boy.  

He crashes into a directory.

Knocking it over, he lands over it.  It digs painfully into his stomach but he can’t think about it, as his eyes snap up to see if the other boy has seen him.  

He has, brown eyes wide in surprise.

A blush rises up his cheeks, up his neck.  

He wants so desperately to disappear, there’s people going around him and his mess, others turning back to look at him.  

The other boy, with his friend’s arm now around his shoulder, gets guided around, turning to move towards the earth sciences building.

He scrambles up, fixing his backpack before walking quickly away from the broken stand, face still hot.

-

“ _Dongmyeong_ ,” some calls.

He looks up in time to see a boy climb up the stairs.  The top of brown hair is all he sees at first.  But as he keeps looking he’s greeted with the same smile as _that day_.

It’s wide, toothy, boyishly charming.

It makes his stomach flop around, when _Dongmyeong_ waves at the group of boys, sitting close by, a couple of tables away.

He lifts up his biology book, covering his face as he stares.

They’re jostling him around a bit, rough housing as the smaller boy pouts and whines.  Junyoung watches it all, unable to look away even as a gaze flickers to him, questioning.

They don’t meet eyes, Junyoung ducks further behind his book.  Dongmyeong’s gaze goes back to the boy across him, hair bright pink, as he begins to ask him a question.

He lets his book drop, reaching for his pencil and begins to take notes again.

He tries extremely hard not to look at the group of boys, but it’s hard when they burst out in overly loud laughter, sounds of playful shoving and hitting.  

Junyoung texts a couple of his friends, anything to save him from this.  No one really seems to understand his dilemma,  as they text quick and sneaky texts of  _ im in class _ .

Truthfully, and probably logically, Junyoung could go study somewhere else.  But perhaps he’s more of masochist than he really likes to think he is, straining his ears to catch the bright laugh from the other boy, the childish tone of his voice.

He loses himself in a daze of notes and willing himself not to look up, flipping pages from his book at a steady pace.  

Junyoung doesn’t even realize the way the day has gotten darker outside the huge windows of the room, or how it has gone extremely quiet, raucous laughter and noisy jeering now gone.

He slumps on his chair, closing his books as he’s finally done.  He stretches, popping his joints, wincing with the sounds.  

He looks up then, feeling eyes on him, hopeless hoping, that _yes_ it’s the boy who is looking at him.

Their eyes break contact not even a second after meeting.  The other boy, goes back to putting his things away in his bag, now alone, careless in his movements.

Junyoung watches him, as he swings his bag over his shoulder, walking quickly down the stairs.  His stare lasts longer than necessary, he’s alone now, others gone for dinner and school clubs.  

“What to eat,” he mumbles to himself, patting his stomach.  He’s slow in putting his things away, making up his mind on going to the small coffee shop under the study lounge.

It’s a bit late now, the dinner crowd has already gone, most already eating in the dining hall or other popular eating spots.

Junyoung walks slowly to the shop.  He sees the empty tables first and then his eyes go to check out the line.  There’s only one person waiting to order.  The back of his head is familiar, the same sandy brown as a couple of days, couple of minutes ago.  

He’s hesitant as he keeps walking.  His mind is screaming for him to stop, to turn around and go to another eatery but his legs move on their own and before he can turn around he’s already behind the smaller boy, eyes stubbornly looking at the menu.

He knows what he wants but playing dumb seems to be the only thing he can do.

He moves up when the other boy goes to the side, places his order quickly and shuffles away from the counter.

“Oh,” Junyoung looks up quickly, cracking his neck, he winces, reaching to soothe away the pain.

“Ah, are you ok?” the boy asks, holding on to his receipt.

“Yeah,”  Junyoung manages, “you just scared me.”

There’s silence, broken from the hissing of the machine behind the counter.

“You were upstairs too, right?” he asks him, leaning against the wall behind him.

Junyoung nods, “yeah that was me.”

“Aren't you also the kid who ran into the sign?  Outside the library?”

He’s blushing, Junyoung feels the way heat stains his cheeks bright pink.

“I was hoping you hadn’t seen that,” Junyoung admits, dropping his head, “or actually that _no one_ had.”

“Dongmyeong!” the barista calls out.  

Junyoung flinches at that, drops his change on the floor.

Dongmyeong reaches easily for his drink and food, laughing as Junyoung drops down to pick up his mess.

“Are you always this clumsy?” Dongmyeong asks, goes down to reach for the coins closests to him.

“N-no,” Junyoung stutters, raises his hand in denial, “I’m just-”

“Easily startled?” Dongmyeong finishes.

_ Nervous around pretty boys. _

-

The library is pretty empty this early in the morning.  Junyoung is probably awake way too early for a Saturday morning.  But his perfect facade really takes a lot of effort to keep up.  He needs to keep his grades up to keep his ranking and because it’s what is expected of him.

He finds a quiet place on the last floor of the library, empty besides the custodians that are doing their early cleaning.  He smiles at them when they pass by, sitting on a armchair.  He places his cup of coffee on the small table attached to it, at the very corner to make room for his laptop.

An hour passes in absolute silence.  No one really ever bothers to go to this floor, it’s one of the many reasons why Junyoung likes to do his work there.  

He hasn’t even told any of his friends about it, usually just explaining that he’s been in the library all day.  They never ask where exactly.

He’s searching for an article when he hears the door open, it slams loudly against the wall and then rings loudly when it closes again.

He looks up in time to see who has found their way down to the forgotten floor.

“Oh,” Dongmyeong says, smiling at him, “it’s you!”

Junyoung’s knee jerks in his haste to straighten himself, slamming against the attached desk and successfully knocking over his paper cup of coffee.

It spills open and splashes against his legs, still hot enough to make him bite his tongue in surprised pain.

“Woah,” Dongmyeong moves towards him, drops his bag on the chair next to Junyoung’s, “you really do scare easily.”

“Yeah,” Junyoung swallows, laugh nervously, “I uh...I need to clean this up.”

He tries to be careful as he moves his laptop onto his chair, pushing away the desk and practically running to the bathroom.

He’s alone in the bathroom, the sink drip dropping.

“I’m an idiot,” he says to himself, pulling paper towels from the dispenser, “he thinks I’m an idiot.”

When he walks out Dongmyeong is still there, now sitting on the chair right next to Junyoung’s, smiles when he sees him come back.

“I’ll help," he says, making to grab at the paper towels.

“You’ll get dirty,” Junyoung murmurs, dropping to his knees, keeping the paper towels to himself, dropping a few on top of the spilt coffee.

“But this is my fault,” Dongmyeong insists, dropping next to Junyoung, grabbing some of the paper towels to wipe the coffee around.

_More than you think_ , Junyoung thinks to himself.

They both end up in the bathroom, throwing away the soaked through paper, pumping soap into the palms of their hands to wash away the stickiness of the coffee.

The water runs loudly and Junyoung feels like he has to say something, feeling awkward with each passing second.

“You must think I’m an idiot,” he finally says, regret immediately coming to him.

Dongmyeong doesn’t say anything as he closes the tap, turning to look at him.

“A little bit,” he smiles, lopsided but still so cute Junyoung can’t be bothered to be insulted.

He knows the stars in his eyes must be obvious to the other, but he graciously decides to ignore them, walking to the paper towel dispenser.

“I’m Dongmyeong, by the way,” he says, crumbling the paper in between his hands.

“I know,” Junyoung says, his faint blush darkening when he hears himself, “I mean, I heard it...when your friends called you...and at the coffee shop…”

He goes quiet, feeling even more stupid with ever word coming out of his mouth.

Dongmyeong looks at him, small smile bordering on amused, _teasing_ , “aren’t you going to tell me your name?”

_Of course_ he manages to even mess this up.

“It’s Junyoung,” he squeezes out, “you can call me Jun.”

-

He bumps into him the next day.

It’s early on a Sunday morning.

Junyoung wakes up before the sun rises and gets ready to start his morning run.  

He usually runs a couple of laps around campus, before the the rest of the students wake up, enjoying the brisk air stinging against his cheeks.

He’s on his sixth or seventh lap when he sees the familiar tone of brown in his way.  Junyoung is caught in the way that the other is wearing glasses, round wired frames sitting prettily on the bridge of his nose.  In his distraction he fails to voice out a warning or to even just stop his running.

They fall on the side of the path, into the wet grass.  Their legs tangled together, elbows digging painfully into their sides.

He hears the sound of surprise, followed by a pained groan that comes from Dongmyeong, the struggle they start as Junyoung tries to desperately get away from him.

He pushes himself away, letting himself fall back into the grass, eyes locked in the way some grass has stuck to Dongmyeong’s arms, even on his cheek.

“Wah,” Dongmyeong says, voice sounding out of breath, “did you _really_ just run me over?”

Junyoung doesn’t say anything, watches instead as Dongmyeong finally sits up, reaching a hand to wipe away the dirt and grass on his face, “you really are dangerous.”

“I’m sorry,” Junyoung whines, feels oddly like crying, “you were just in the way and I-”

“You didn’t think about stopping?” Dongmyeong laughs, clearly not bothered, “every time I see you you’re always making a mess, you’re like a kid.”

Junyoung frowns at that, knows that Dongmyeong is younger than him, says as much, “I’m a junior,” he frowns.

“You’re my hyung, then?” Dongmyeong looks at him, bringing his legs to his chest, “but you’re so...well _you know_ ,” he motions at Junyoung with his arms.

Junyoung should once again be offended, instead he huffs, “well we can’t all be as cute and composed as you now can we?”

He stares in wonder as he sees the faint flush of pink rise to Dongmyeong’s cheeks, reaching all the way to the top of his ears.

“You do know that,” Junyoung suddenly seems to have the courage to continue, “that you’re really cute, _right?_ ”

The way the other’s blush darkens seems to erupt a nest of butterflies in Junyoung’s stomach, a pleasant feeling that sends his heart beating too quickly.

Dongmyeong gets up, grass sticking to his bare legs, “you’re teasing, I get it,  _hyung_.”

He pushes his hair up, Junyoung watches as it bounces back into place.

“I’m not,” Junyoung assures him as he scrambles to get up.

“You are,” Dongmyeong insists.

They’re close enough that their size difference is noticeable, Junyoung dies at how cute it all is, Dongmyeong’s eyes flicker to his exposed arms.

“No wonder I didn’t stand a chance,” Dongmyeong says quietly, “you’re so big it’s a wonder you didn’t actually break me with the impact.”

Junyoung looks down at himself, then at Dongmyeong, “I would never break anything as pretty as you.”

He’s not sure what he’s saying, why his brain to mouth filter has suddenly broken, but he thinks it maybe has something to do with the pretty blush Dongmyeong is still wearing.

“You really are an idiot,” Dongmyeong says, rolling his eyes, “how you manage to live this far it’s beyond me.”

Junyoung smiles at him, “If I’m an idiot than it’s only because of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> please support my [sons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btMEbMtXrY4)
> 
> find me/talk to me about this fic or other fics or other ideas on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/weusfics) / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/bloomings)


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